Friday, November 6, 2015

Screw

Rough day so here i am. Writing blogging the stress away. Theres so much on my plate right now. I cant seems to know which one is more important and which one is urgent as everything seems fairly urgently need attention. And i make mistake. A real effed up mistake i feel like stabbing a pillow. Ok fine. No joke. Seriously. But then, as writing this, that mistake not that really big as earth big. But still. Arghh im so effed up. Someone really close to me seems to take me down. I dont know. I just feel like that. Maybe the intention is good but why you so, i mean sooo sigh. Cant find the word. This uneasy feeling i hate the most. Feeling everything does not work for me.everything against me and feeling soo low. Someone ask me how im dealing with stress and she was like no wonder i am so positive as i need positivity to combat these negativity. True is. I failed today. This very day i feel things out of my control im so screwed up i want my mom. Ice cream. Beach. Anything that make me feel better

Monday, September 28, 2015

letter to datema

hi babe.

life is treating me fine. going places here and there. surrounded with people i like and love. still, i never forget you datema. no matter how much fun we had, it would never be the same without you. miss your laugh, your non-stop talking, your jokes, everything. you know, i have this one song which is my favorite at the moment. could have been me by the struts. the band is kind of ridiculous. but u know me, i love weird stuffs. this song reminds me that i need to do everything crossed and stayed in my mind. since you gone, it kind of hit me that i have to just do it anything i want. don't wait. i learned that. it's been a year plus since you passed away and the last time i cried in the open court. not cool at all. i know. i never thought someone close to me will leave me. not by any disease. i was wrong. we are all His servants and He is in control of our lives. there are days that i miss you so much that i went through all our facebook conversations and stupid comments. thank God for facebook. something that i am afraid of is that i will forget about you. i am afraid that i will forget all the memories that we had together. what we done, song we sang together. our travel plan. all that. we plan a lot but Allah knows best. i still remember you calling me benchmark. haha. true babe. if you are still here, i probably will fill in the forms together with you. haila fatema, i have lost interest in any korean dorama. what is fun without discussing and commenting the story with you? no fun at all. no meroyan buddy. our political scenario also getting weird and funny everyday. i miss your funny and outspoken comments. currency is dropping and our ringgit really become picisan babe. what a sad situation for us. 

second paragraph because the first one is too long to read later. haha. i never thought i will miss you this much babe. never thought u could leave me such a big impact. ok then, i have work actually. but i think writing a letter to you is more important. talking about priority. ahaha. bye babe. love you.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Le week-end and great news

Le week-end (2013)

Bitter old people who married for 30 years. What have you done marriage? 

On one happy real news, my good friend going to be a father soon. Baby is coming. 😘 be healthy baby. 


Love,
Auntie D

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Old memory come to visit


My first 💍💎 
Many thanks to my sugar daddy for eternity. 


Monday, July 6, 2015

Angus thongs and perfect snogging

Ok, title mmg nampak inappropriate sangat. But it is a hilarious movie. Seriously. But one thing i need to point out is, please, girls dont talk about boys all the time. Come on, stalking time? Haha. Stupid. 

I like this movie kind of giving me a giddy feeling. So good to be young obviously. 

On serious note, raising a daugther is tough. But i want a daughter. 

Thursday, June 18, 2015

The memory book 2014

Everyone should have their own memory book. 

Mine has slipped away without thinking twice. What a shame. 

Monday, June 1, 2015

Barefoot 2014


I don't like him.
I love him.

When it happens,
you know it's not anything else.


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Love at first flood

It was a beautiful movie. The cinematography walla. The fact it was filmed during the actual flood make it more realistic. It was funny at the beginning and quite sad at the ending. Hero is hilarious. I like how the relationship bloomed. It was something like eventually it happened. Im running out of words. Ok bye. 

Monday, May 18, 2015

Weekend-2

1) PK

Must watch. Watch how people manipulate religion for personal benefits. 

2) haji backpacker

Im not sure bout this. But yunan is a beautiful place! 

3) theory of everything

Based on true story of stephen hawking's life. His ex wife is something. He is hmmmm a man. Different system wtf.

4) the pretty one

Twin who steals her twin identity after her twin died. Just when u think someone' life is better.

5) drinking buddies

Dont get too close to a broken hearted woman.  

6) architecture 101

First love.

7) trip to italy

Places are all very mesmerizing!


And a few of diva plus hbo movies. Cant remember the titles.

Duduk rumah is not that bad huh? kinda adjusting well. Most of the time, i just cant wait for my father speedy recovery so that i have my weekends back. 

Hp is broken. So my life at the moment is with my ipad. I dont feel like changing to new one yet. 

I want to be normal. Normal life. Normal relationship. Normal career. Normal everything. Somehow, i know im not. 

The only love i feel at the moment is the love for animals. If only i can keep a dog. Must be so cute then, i can name him digby or her bella. 






Friday, May 8, 2015

misery

Have you ever feel so lost, empty. like half of your mind or body just disappeared? well, i. am. very. much. lonely. right. now. i don't know. i am bored as hell when i have a lot of chores to do. my mind is else where. i want to say something or do something but i chicken out. worst come to worst. i have no one to talk to. or no one seems to understand what i am going through. THANK GOD THERE IS A BLOG. 

i felt so helpless that i have one submission to do but i can seems to have any ideas to write. (finish reading the other party's submission) for god sake, can we move to another chapter please. seriously, i have had enough with jurat. (insert crying face) oh god, i want to puke just thinking about it. It is like you are still not over your ex. like, come on dude! move on!

my friends did tried to understand me but i guess they have the wrong idea, or it was me putting the wrong idea. honestly, i don't know how to describe what this emptiness means?! it suck obviously.

i just want to feel at ease, do crap talk, not being judged and feel comfort. stuck at home suck. i don't know since when i have changed, but i think i no longer a home person. still love home though. but stay inside the house for a long period of time? i need time to adjust. i mean, i used to love home so much that stay at home not able to see sun for days is nothing. yeah, that was how  lazy i am much i love home.

here to many days of stay-at-home-dont-go-anymwhere.back to the days where mak had to chase me out of the house so that i go out and see the sun. back to 17 years old self who loves home so much that basically living like a caveman.

okies. submission is waiting in line patiently. need to entertain. 

doodles. xoxo.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Bittersweet

This bittersweet feeling. How to make it go away?

I must be insane to feel what i am feeling right now. 

It is way too late. 

Too late to realize. Too late to notice. Too late to even say it.

I lost my moment. My time has gone without i realizing it. 

Time is not waiting for me. 

I feel very much lonely right now. 

Duh. Life is funny.

Monday, January 26, 2015

F'ed up

I'm tired. 


I had it all enough.

Just like i thought, it will end at "almost".

Great start 2015.